A Productive Week
Amor vacui
First off, I didn’t apply for the grand prize I mentioned last week. Why? Maybe it was the six pages of rules. Or perhaps it was because I stumbled across some critical press and decided to weigh the options—time vs. money vs. exposure vs. the odds.
We had a midweek holiday at school, which meant I suddenly had some unfettered time off while still getting paid. Criminy! It’s the little things. I’m often conflicted about the notion of “time off,” vacillating between joy and frustration. Joy, of course, because of that delirious sense of unfetteredness I mentioned above. Pure bliss. I’m unable to explain this feeling fully. It’s not the same as a vacation or a day off, or whatever other people feel when they have a day with nothing scheduled (horror vacui?) For me, this kind of time off amounts to the very dissolution of time itself. Time ceases to exist. Amor vacui, la dolce vita!
I made eight prints midweek, beginning with morning coffee and ending somewhere in the late afternoon, with documenting my bed as I was recuperating. No clue as to what the hours of the day were, though I am programmed for an espresso break at 2 pm. The frustration, however, comes from having to justify, or quietly seethe, when my version of “working” doesn’t resemble someone else’s. For example: developing (pun intended) a playlist that guides me through the darkroom process without the use of a timer1 or just making pictures all day.
The bliss continued through last night. Included in this state of bliss, ironically, was organizing the studio and office, making a bin of things to donate or sell, and researching my 2026 Marketplace insurance options. The increase in my premium was so astronomical that I thought I had entered my annual projected income as my monthly income, but no. This led to an emergency pursuit of my Medicare options which fortunately are not that far out. So not exactly “bliss” in the traditional sense, but being time-blind for almost a week presented an opportunity to get some of life’s necessary tasks done while also working in the studio, all of which, as a package deal, makes life less stressful and dare I say, brings a sense of relief?
It’s a rough segue, but here we are back to time versus money and the importance of grants and residencies.
Until next week,
I’m not sure how long I devoted to that task, as it also required mining the depths of my music library, which speaks to memory more than I care to admit.